Alice Does Blogs

There was this Pinterest pin I found the other day which got me thinking: Am I a Multi Tasker or Single Task kind of girl? I would consider myself a bit of both because as of this writing I am focused on writing this entry while listening to a mukbang video by Stephanie Soo - and its making me hungry though!!! So yeah..its making me crazy though that I am thinking about this but are there people like that? Single Task people? In this day and age multi tasking is really the way people do things. I can say I do that as well because of the limited time, we tend to spread ourselves too thin to the point that we have to do two things at the same time. But most people crash eventually if that happens. And it has happened to me so many times. I normally would just shut everything down when I feel that it is too much for me. I feel too pressured to do something that I am not particularly comfortable with. There was one time that I was tasked to do something at home which was to basic...

I was browsing on some random Facebook page when I thought to myself: What if I buy a couple of contact lenses because I missed them? Would that be fun? I guess so...I remember my fascination with contact lenses were from anime series that I've watched. I love seeing girls with different eye colors and I hoped to get them too. I might save up some money for that. I might buy myself a couple of circle lens just in case I need some fun in my life. I can't really think of anything today which is weird. Is it because it is Valentines? I just shiver at the thought that today was supposed to be the first Valentines I might have spent with my now ex-boyfriend. Yes. I am still being bitter about it. I am not bitter about the break up but rather the things we could've done together. But a lot of people have told me that it was for the better if he was just not into the relationship as I was with him. I tried my very best to be as cordial to all the couples I've s...

I've told myself that after my recent break up that I will change. But how can I change if my heart is not ready for it? I have started doing meditation again to lessen my anxiety. It makes me feel better whenever I meditate which is oddly fascinating because as much as I love to focus on myself, I unconsciously think of others first but when I meditate I just let myself free. A lot of my friends have told me that it would be best if I just focus myself first and not look for a partner...which is weird because is that the vibe I give out to people? Am I unconsciously telling people that I want to be in a relationship now?  To be quite honest, I am hoping to be in a relationship with this guy that I have been talking to lately, but it turns out that he was just interested in getting laid. I was thankful that my instinct were right. There are men out there who prey on women that are still broken from a recent break up so they can get laid. Its a sad reality that nowadays...

I am supposed to do this daily, but I can't. I am still trying to maintain this because I promised myself that I will do this as often as possible. Lately I have been extremely tired. I just wanted to lay down my bed and just sleep. I am not sick but I just missed doing nothing. I missed not having an agenda for the day, I miss just enjoying staring blankly at the sky as if seeing the clouds change its form before my eyes. I miss myself.  I have always had a weird fascination with the clouds. I like seeing them form shapes in my head and just move slowly. I remember when I was a child that I wanted to be a cloud which is weird i know so don't judge me. But as we grow older, those things change. We get responsibilities as we get older we may like it or not. I felt shackled with a constant fear of seeing my life being handled by other people. I just wanted to live. I just wanted to feel alive . The other night I just started crying out of the blue. Nothing really...

For four days I have been into work. With meetings, inventories and accounting reports that I dreaded so much I was left with an empty shell of what I called optimism. I tend to over work myself sometimes which leads to a depressive state so I guess I went spiraling down. This may be due to the break up. We did end up back together after several hours of phone calls of us crying trying to figure out what went wrong and if we still wanted to be together. We do. I honestly just meditated most of my time to ease the stress of life. I can't take too much pressure on all aspects of life because I am like a bomb waiting to explode so don't try me. I am slowly getting back in the cycle of filming youtube videos. I am just really worried because I am given a 30 day notice that if I don't get at least 4k hours of views and 1k subscribers I will lose my monetization which is saddening. So that's it for now. I need to get back to work. I need to get things together for m...

If you have read my previous post, you will understand this post further. I never really intended to push him to breaking up with me. I did it because I wanted attention from him. Its either we fight or I become petty - and apparently I mixed those two together and it ended my relationship. During the first stage of our relationship it was okay. He was the clingy one in the relationship but the farther we got into the journey the more he pushed me away. Before we finally broke up I had my breaking point. It was about a week ago when we had a fight and 'broke up'. When that scenario happened I finally had my last breath of hope of him not being stubborn and just say sorry. He was the one who was wrong during our argument that time by the way which is why I wanted him to apologize. It was over my facebook account password. I know there will be mixed reactions towards this but as much as I love him I prefer my facebook to be as private as where I keep my underwear should...

There were times that I would just be all over the place with my ideas that I needed a physical notebook for me to write them. That is why I bought all those stuff the other day to provide me more time to spend less online and just write. And I know it sounds weird coming from a blogger that she wants to spend less time online and just write, but that is how I want to do sometimes. With social media taking over so rapidly, sometimes I just want to slow down and just enjoy my day instead of going through my instagram, facebook and twitter to know what other people are up to. I've let go of my fear of missing out a long time ago. I realized that living MY life is more important than minding what other people are doing online. If you noticed, I never went with the flow of things like trends and stuff because I know to myself I can't keep up with that so I will just go do my own thing. The fear of missing out is basically our brain telling us to go with the current even if...

You know when you are in the mood to work on a project then all of a sudden you just can't work because the most important thing you need just won't work? Yeah. My internet sucks. The funny part in this predicament is that I usually edit my videos before I go to bed which is around 10:30PM to 11:30PM which is when not a lot of people in my house are connected to the WiFi thus I have the bandwith to myself. Wow, I sound so selfish saying that. It just frustrates me that I should have faster internet connection during this time because if I use my mobile data my wallet will be screwed because I need to get a data plan that is way more than my budget. And I actually pay on time on my internet service which sucks more because WHY IS MY SERVICE NOT AT PAR WITH ME PAYING ON TIME?? And another thing that iffed me today is the whole youtube partnership issue. The whole jist of it is if you don't have xx amount of views per month and xx amount of subscribers you are not e...

I got a bluetooth headphones! I know this is a lame but the fact that I now have this amazing thing that will help me concentrate when I write because I like listening to music when I write. But usually I listen to ambient music to make me concentrate and it works. Today I bought some stuff because I needed to get new stuff to make me feel good. And for some reason I've learned that retail therapy is amazing when you feel miserable. I mostly bought stationary stuff because I like writing on a notebook. And maybe this is my adulting side but going through my accounting makes me so stressed out that I need to have a notebook for everything - no joke. I bought a bunch of notebooks that I find cute and new pens because its never a bad idea to get a new pen once in a while. I also bought some products to review for my youtube channel and I missed shopping for myself. I missed going through aisles of products and just be amazed. The biggest purchase I got would probably b...

I got sick. Its terrible. I thought it was just a common cold or something but it was not. I got broncho pneumonia AGAIN. YES. AGAIN. I experienced it back in 2010 when I overworked myself to the point I only get 2 hours of sleep when I was working in the BPO industry which also lead me to quitting that job because I was mentally and physically exhausted getting cursed for being incompetent by someone that lived on the other side of the world. But this time it was worse than the first one. I felt like my whole body was giving up on me that I lost a lot of energy to even move for more than five minutes at a time! I know it might be an exaggeration, but surely it was how I felt at that exact moment. The good thing about the experience is that I was able to enjoy the comforts of sleeping peacefully even though I felt my whole existence was about to end after every horrendous coughing fit. I was also able to experience amazing Korean soup from my Korean neighbor when she fo...

I feel sick. Scratch that - I AM SICK! This maybe because of the weather and stress coming to push me down. I really can't breath properly which scares me to go to sleep. I had to sleep sideways or laying on top of my stomach afraid I might die if I sleep on my back. I am getting more paranoid than ever which is frustrating. I went to the doctor's office earlier to get myself checked because what I am having doesn't want to leave me. The doctor gave me medicine and actually advised me to get admitted but I opted not to because I don't have enough funds to get myself admitted. I hate getting sick. As much as I love to sleep in my bed all day, I prefer to get up and work. So far that is what happened today. Wish me luck for a faster recovery. I really need it. xx Alice

Yes. I know I am posting this a day after its supposed to. I can explain. It sounds weird but on the day of my birthday I had a mental breakdown. I was emotionally exhausted to the point that I just wanted to cry. Luckily, babe was there to calm me down because more and more my anxiety attacks become worse and worse. One of the things I am thankful was someone made an effort to make me feel my birthday was special besides from my immediate family - my TBDC family. They didn't really gave me the glitzy kind of party but just a simple dinner where we just spent hours upon hours of talking and catching up since I have been busy at the bakery last 2017. TBDC has been my second family. They loved me to the point that even if I screwed up they would just be there backing me up. Besides from my immediate family, my TBDC family showed me a whole new world ahead of me. They believed in my potential and made me a better person now. Thank you The Big Difference Communications for ...

Jeskelerd ITS OFFICIAL! I AM 29 YEARS OLD!  I cannot stress enough how old I feel now that my 20s are ending. That reality just hit me hard in the face when I realized that damn girl you will be entering the 30 mark in another 365 days of your life. But nonetheless I am thankful. I am thankful of all the people, those that have stayed and those that just chose to pass by to mold me into the person that I am. There were just things in life that will go and stay for the better so if you are experiencing that don't worry more people will come your way. I had a talk with my mom the other night about the impending stress we will be having about expanding my business. I already told her that I will be hiring new people in to help us out and she stressed out the fact that she is one of the most paranoid people in the world. This part actually was when our talk became a screaming match because she won't budge for it and it frustrated me because we won't go anywhere if we ...

I will be combining day 2 and 3 in today's post because: 1. I totally forgot to write it and I'm sorry. This will never happen for sure. 2. There was a lot of things going in my head that I can't focus. so here goes...

Hey there! I should've wrote this sooner but you know - holidays! I went back to manning the bakery today at 7AM. It was gruesome. I am not a morning person so putting on a smile in the morning is just dreadful for a person like me. I know its weird since I am quite known to be very outgoing and jolly but to be fair not everyone can be perfect. Today was fine. There were a lot of free time for me to do things around the bakery. For one, I was able to organize all the items that we need to stock up like coffee and the drinks. I'm surprised at how meticulous I am when it comes to organizing things. I get too obsessed in making it all aligned and coordinated I am surprised. I did something stupid today though. I would like to kick myself in the face because I just sucked in keeping my mouth shut. I honestly hate my own mouth at times its annoying. Another thing that kept me busy is reading Mangas of Junji Ito. If you don't know him-GOOGLE.HIM.NOW. I am a big ass ...