Being Confident


 I have always been insecure about so many things - my weight, my looks, and everything else. Maybe its because I wasn't given enough validation as a child and a lot of unresolved issues that sometimes I tend to build walls around me. 

I know I'm not the only one that feels this way. I try my best to be as confident as I need to because if I let my insecurities bring me down, I won't be able to do my best in life. 

There was a time where I went on a date and he told me that he consented into this because he felt bad for me. I immediately walked away from this date and blocked him. I thought I can have a relationship with this person because he understood that he is getting to know a person who was overcoming trauma from previous relationships - boy was I wrong. 

I usually come off as very confident and outgoing to some people and they are impressed how I am able to carry myself and be comfortable with my body. What they didn't know is what they see is a front. Inside I feel anxious and scared, because that voice is telling me that no one will be able to understand me and accept me for who I am. 

That's my harsh reality - My inner voice is my own basher. 

I have talked to my therapist about this and she said that its very important and I stop my inner voice from doing this. I have to re-affirm myself each time that I am worthy of more things in life. 

Nowadays I feel a little better with myself. Sure I may not have the prettiest face or sexy body, but I have friends that root for every achievement I show them. There are still dark days that I just want to lay down in bed and cry because I haven't achieved great things in life but then I remember that life is not a race, but a journey and I can just take my time. 

If you are going through something similar, don't worry because great things will be coming our way soon. Just believe in how great you can become. 

In being confident, you have to accept everything about yourself. I know that I have not fully accepted myself but each day I try to be more forgiving for the mistakes I have done, and change myself for the better. 

That is how you become confident. 

Much Love 

xx ALice 

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