What Working Again in a company feels like

 Because of this whole pandemic it got me thinking again of what matters the most to me. I was not getting any younger and pursuing blogging full time and attending events just to earn some brownie points wasn't really cutting it in for me. 

Believe me I loved that side of being a content creator but there is also a side I wasn't really fond of - the back breaking tasks of editing, conceptualizing, posting deliverables and waiting to get paid. The amount of effort I put out doesn't really pay the bills if I can be completely honest. 

I remember one of my lowest point was being offered to ghost write another blog and I would potentially get paid by the amount of views or comments like what the actual crap was that?! I had to decline that offer because I don't really like to put a price on the articles I put out. 

I love how some of you would be so happy and inspired after reading a post and message me about your insights about it. Believe me I respond so fast in those kinds of comments more because I love to hear feedback. 

When everything stopped during the onset of the pandemic, I felt lost and concerned. Lost of how do I build this again? How do I start over? concerned with how am I able to provide and survive? 

Then I got a job around 2020 after searching for one that will pay somewhat similar to a living wage. I liked that job but in the end it just burnt me out too. I know I had my opportunities in that job but one thing I never understood more is the kind of leader you are to your employees. I wasn't trained nor briefed properly. I was just given a set of things to remember and that's it TADA you're trained! 

If you may not have noticed, yes, that is sarcasm. 

I am the type of employee that I would like to know how you would like me to do my job. I prefer an honest employer than one that just looks at you and would roll their eyes. I swear if I see that kind of treatment towards another person I would slap that person dead. 

In the current company that I work at, I have actually excelled quite a lot. I got a promotion from a tier 1 rep to a tier 2 which means I have the same power to a store manager I suppose. There are stuff that I need to learn but one thing I am grateful for is the importance of how much your leadership believes in you. 

I have never felt like a liability to my leadership. I had a talk with my coach earlier about this and I asked if I am really ready to be a mentor. My coach asked me this: Why do you want to be one in the first place? Is it for the newbies on the production or is it for yourself? And I answered that I want to be able to help the newbies on training. I am in doubt though if I am capable of that. He told me I am ready for that and he believes in me that I can be better. It made me honestly feel so much better because the kind of work I do right now is seriously mentally exhausting because I have to deal with people that are either too entitled or is completely lost in how to take care of their devices. But nonetheless even if I feel like I am ready to explode from these people I am still willing to help them. 

Working again made me feel that I do have a purpose. I may be dispensable but honestly I think I am still a great asset to my company because the level of dedication I have in my work is top notch thanks to how much they believe in me. 

I have had my fair share of employers that are straight up no good at their job because of how little belief they have on their employees and I won't stand for that. I think being a great leader is suppose to believe in their employees to excel. 

I know I might step on some toes of people I know personally but honestly if you got offended that means you were not an effective leader then. Do better. 

And now that I will be spending my first year in my current line of work I am really happy that I am quite stable now. You can say I am stable in the way that I am able to pay for necessities and splurge a little from time to time yet still have enough to save. 

I love the kind of work I have now though the only downside is the working hours. I work 4:00AM to 1:00PM which is a bit stressful believe me because I would get calls from early morning Karens and Chads who can't seem to understand what a tower upgrade is for the millionth time! I could go on and on about these topics but I don't want to bore you honestly. 

Much Love 

Alice