After Us

I remember the most painful break up I had. 

It was unbearable that I forgot my whole existence and just cried. 

I told myself to keep it together. 

You can do this.

You can move on. 

That was 5 years ago. 

There are still days I hear that song he dedicated to me. At first it made me froze just to hear the first few stanzas and feel that my body is slowly cracking in pieces. I shed tears and even had thoughts of what if I let him back in...which in the end never happened because I had friends to tell me that its not worth it. 

This was a chapter of my life that almost destroyed me. 

It was 3 months of him just being the center of my world. Then that December night I ended my misery in ending that relationship. He cheated on me - no scratch that. 

I was the other woman who didn't even knew it.

Its hard to swallow that. Its like a bitter pill that I had to swallow to make me feel better.

At first moving on was tough because it was a secret relationship that had ended. I had to fake a smile to my family so they wouldn't know that I am hurting. I have to go to work and make everything seem...normal. 

Those who are close to me at work knew this. They saw my face so red at work when I broke up with him. I was holding back tears thus making me look as red as a tomato. 

I cried myself to sleep when I got home. I only slept for 2 hours. 

Just like Carly. 

We felt the same way when that relationship ended. That you just want to hold on to him..or the memory of it.nI think most girls would understand this. We have been here maybe once or more in our lives but its part of it. 

I can say I have moved on after 5 years of trial and error. I didn't went back to him. He did try to get back with me but I resisted because I know I would just go back to my old self with him. 

If you can relate with my story maybe you can relate more to this video. 

Much Love

xx Alice